So I haven't blogged in a while...

I apologize...Life gets in the way. Especially my awkward one.

Good things that have happened?
My two best friends have visited me frequently and are most possibly the cutest gay couple EVER.
I've become a Gleek. That's good, right? Maybe bad? I don't know.
My mom bought me T-Swift tickets for graduation

Those are the updates I can think of.

This brings me to today... Oh jeez.
Eli, GTFO of my space.
And off my lips.
KTHANKS.

I don't know...

Welcome to February? This means four more months of this hell and then I'm done. I'm trying to look forward to it, but I feel so stuck at where I am now.

I wonder if people realize the damage they're causing or if it's just too damn funny to them that I'm suffering.

Valley City, North Dakota

is hell. 

Dear Students of Valley City High School,

I love how none of you give a second glance at me until it gets around that I made out with Eli. Now it's become your goal to make my life miserable. What is this? Some kind of fucked up movie about high school? You don't treat someone this way. I thought you'd all know that by now. Apparently people on flat land don't know what to do with themselves. Thanks for the whispers about me, yelling "Manwhore!" at me when you see me, and of course, a special thanks to the decent human being who decorated my favorite hoodie with the word "FAG" in big black letters during gym class. It really makes me realize how loved I am by the student body. I love you all. And I advise anybody who is gay to come and live in Valley City because they're so accepting here. They really welcome homosexuals or rather people they believe to be homosexuals.

Peace, Love and Taylor Swift, bitches!

Jake (manwhorehairstraighteningtaylorswiftlovingfag)

Dumbass Right Here

So I haven't blogged in a while. This could be for the reason that I screwed up big time. I mean, I guess I really don't know why I did it. Maybe part of it was being stuck in my apartment too long, taking care of my sister, doing homework, sleeping and then waking up and doing it all over again. Maybe it was just too repetitive. Maybe I missed the spontaneous life I had back in Wisconsin. Connor. Vince. Josh. Annoying the shit out of Syd. Maybe I was feeling out of touch. With the world. With myself. But no matter why I did it, the main reason seems to be this: I'm a dumbass. Yep. That seems right.

Let's review, what good did going out and getting drunk and high off of my ass do?
-I got really sick
-I could have died because it was bad because I was on steroids
-I was close to alcohol poisoning which leads to death
-I figured out who I thought was my friend really isn't
-I made out with a guy (this guy mentioned there ^^)
-He told everyone at school we made out and know everyone thinks I'm gay, not that they didn't before
-It freaked out my mother and made her worry
-It made Emily worry and get mad at me
-It made Ayana angry
-It made Syd angry
-It made Connor and Vince angry
-It made me angry
-In general I pissed everyone off, including myself
-I got a C in physics instead of the A I had because I skipped out on the final when I was laying passed out from drinking

I could list more, but let's just say it did nothing but fuck everything up, including my mind. And now what do I do? I sit here and continue to listen to Taylor Swift's "Back to December."

I'm sorry Emily. I'm sorry everyone...

College and Physics Shenanigans

Physics....DIE. This final might just be the death of me. I mean, it's not like I don't already have a 96, but still. I want to do well. Apparently I'm one of the best physics students. I find this hilarious. Me in AP courses? Who died for this to happen?

College....sigh. Whenever I do go to VCSU I'm going to major in Physical Education and minor in Athletic Coaching. At least that's what I think. You want to know what my dream is? Coaching hockey. That's honestly all I want and I can imagine myself doing it.

I kind of wanna live in Canada....

On a different note...last night:
Connor: So when's the next time you're visiting?
Me: I'm coming out over Spring Break...so March?
(I'm on the phone and as I'm saying this I walk past the kitchen)
Mom: You're coming out?
Connor: Jake, you really have to stop wording things in a way that make you sound gay. You totally set yourself up for that one.

MLIA
(MyLifeIsAwkward)

Your life is awkward?

Nahhh, my life is awkward.
Let's Review:

My best friend Connor who I've known forever, who I didn't know was gay came out to me at a hockey tournament by kissing me. I was repulsed because I'm straight and I thought that we were always just joking but apparently he wasn't. We didn't talk for a month and finally figured things out. Then my mom is convinced I'm gay and my ten year old sister wants me to marry Connor because he'll dress me well. I found this out from her saying "Mom is Jake dating Connor?" on a six hour long car ride. That was awkward. Oh and are you ready for the finale? During truth or dare, Connor was dared to kiss our other friend Vince and little did we know that this incident made Vince start to realize who he was. Now Vince has dated my creepy ex girlfriend and whore Monika but it turns out he was just using her because he was scared he was gay. And now he is gay and came out to my cousin. Oh and he told Connor and Connor kissed Vince. Vince likes Connor. My mom and sister think Connor and I are getting married. I'm straight. Two of my best friends are gay. It would make my family happy if I was gay, but I'm only gay when I'm tired? If Connor and Vince get together, will that set this thing about me being gay to rest? Probably not....

WOW.

My life is awkward.

If I had any sort of title in mind I'd put it here

I'm trying to think positively today, but I can't really come up with anything. I should be in Wisconsin. Not here.....It's pointless. Stupid. I'd be gone in a heartbeat if I could, but my mom and sister are important. Even if they do think I'm gay.

Oh my life...It fails. Steroids are helping, I think. I feel like I need to talk to somebody, but...I don't know what to say. If that makes sense? Especially to anybody here.

Connor, I wish you were here....And if that makes me gay, then whatever.